Jesus and Mama

But Jesus and mama always loved me
Even when the devil took control
Jesus and mama always loved me
—Confederate Railroad

Mom is here visiting. Sometimes visits from the parentals are on the stressful side, but not this time. Something about my mom coming to visit in the winter that just makes my heart happy. Tonight she cooked the most amazing black beans and rice. My house smells like onions and rice and garlic–it smells like home.

The last time she came up by herself was when I first moved to Chicago in 2005. I was depressed. I was BEYOND depressed. Better living through chemistry wasn’t helping. It was dark and cold, I missed my NYC BFFs (I still do), I had no friends and I was working in a place that was foreign to me on many different levels. Mom arrived. And things started to change. She helped me find places for the pots and the pans. She cooked me dinner. She told me she loved me a lot. Sometimes you just need a mom to do that, you know?

This visit is so different. A world of different. I love my job, I feel like I’ve come home. I have new friends here that make my world this amazing place of happiness and fun. My Chicago BFF and Mom and I will go out for dinner tomorrow night. He will tease me mercilessly about all my flaws and my southern accent and I will laugh and Mom will, at even a deeper level than she knows now, know that I’m much more okay now than the last time we did this.

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